Everything I Know About Success I Learned From My Grandfather

I recently had a birthday; my 47th, in fact. Looking back over my life—particularly my work life-- a pattern becomes clear. At several points, I've had to start over in my career. Some voluntary, others less so.

But I've never been afraid to start over, even if it meant taking a pay cut. First, some income is better than no income. Second, I value certain things over money: happiness, purpose, and teamwork to name a few. Just getting hired is the trick; once in the door, advancement is the easy part, especially if I feel good about the place.

 How exactly does one advance quickly? This wisdom I owe to a few key lessons I learned from my grandfather. To ease his way into retirement in his sixties, he bought 96 acres and decided to build a working farm from the ground up,  and 15-year-old-me got volunteered to spend the summer helping him. I did get paid, however. It was my first paying job, and several key pieces of wisdom he tried to teach me actually sunk through my thick adolescent skull and have stuck with me. May you take them in more readily than I did.  

1. Don't work for the salary you make; work for the salary you want.

This is easier if you're doing work that you love and working toward a purpose that resonates with you. But it's probably even more important if you are doing work you don't particularly care for… because it's the quickest way out.

 Yes, it's tough going above and beyond when you feel you are underpaid. The key is to convince those in charge that you are underpaid, as well. Doing just enough to get by—or even just doing what's expected-- won't get you there.

 What if you bust your butt consistently, and still don't see a return on your investment? That's where lesson #2 comes in to play.

2. If you want job security, make yourself as indispensable as possible to as many people as possible.

 This isn't about sucking up to your boss. This is about making sure NO ONE wants to see you leave. Notice the stressors and pain points that plague your boss. Find out what you can do to make his or her job easier. The less stressed he or she is, the happier everyone else is.

 Then take stock of your co-workers. What are the things that no one else wants to do? Eagerly jump in to do those things. What are the things no one else knows how to do? Can you learn the skills needed to do them? Do it.

 That alone should cement your place on the team. Now for the big play: get to know people outside of your team/ department. What can you do to make their jobs easier?

 Now you're not only a solid resource for your team,  but you are networking and showing your value to the company as a whole.

 Don't make this transactional. This is not a “you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours” play. If you have to think of it that way, think of it more as banking reciprocity. Humans seem to be hardwired with a need to reciprocate. It can be negative (an eye for an eye) or it can be positive (“thanks! I owe you one!”).

 The more goodwill you bank against an individual, the more they will feel the need to respond in kind. On the one hand, this should engender a stronger sense of teamwork. On the other, if you do this for six months to a year without asking anything in return… when you do ask, they are going to feel very uncomfortable about saying no.

 Multiply that across a team, department or company,  and you can't help but have a lot of leverage when it comes time to ask for a raise, transfer or promotion.

3. Set ambitious goals and pace yourself.

As I said, I was 15 that summer. I played varsity soccer. I was in the marching band. I was young and in good shape.

 My grandfather worked circles around me. Every day.

 The problem was, I was impatient. He had set an audacious goal. And, being summer in Alabama, it was hot. I quickly learned that, in taking on too much in an effort to get things done, I exhausted my self and had to rest for extended periods to recover… and the rest of my work was still there waiting on me.

 My grandfather, on the other hand, worked at a moderate, steady pace and took short breaks as needed. I may have outpaced him for the first hour to hour-and-a-half, but at the end of the day, it was kind of embarrassing how much more he had gotten done.

 4. Taking charge means taking responsibility.

Most people tend to underestimate themselves and overestimate everyone else. This makes it relatively easy to step up and be a leader… but leadership also comes at a cost.

 If you are going to take on the mantle of being in charge, you also take on the mantle of being responsible for the outcome.

 Actually, that's not true. As a leader, every success is your team's success. Every failure is your failure to lead effectively. As a leader, you must celebrate their wins, and you must accept the blame for their losses.

 5. Have high (but fair) expectations

I tend to have high expectations for myself.  That is due largely to the fact that my grandfather had high expectations for me. At fifteen, those expectations were annoying.

 But they were fair. Mostly it was about stepping up and taking ownership of those things I could control, and working to make the best of those things I couldn't.

 In the end that's all you can do.  And if you don't take ownership of the things you can control, someone else will. The question then becomes, do you want that person to have that leverage in your life. That's a personal question… there's not necessarily a right or wrong choice. Just be sure you are making that choice intentionally.

 6. Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!

Okay, to be fair, that was Thoreau, not my grandfather. But it could have been. A child of the Great Depression, he was about as frugal as they come. He wasn't miserly or cheap; but he hated seeing anything go to waste… even if it was a half-drunk soft drink sitting on an end table or counter.

 That has translated into my life as my preference for doing things over having things. I'm not a minimalist per se, but I definitely lean in that direction.

(BONUS: wisdom from my grandmother!)

 “While you’re resting, go mow the lawn.”

That was an actual sentence once spoken to me by my grandmother that summer. I was fifteen. It was Saturday. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, literally eating my lunch.

Where’s the wisdom here? It's two-fold. First, there's always something else that needs to be done. That's not to say you don't deserve a break or days off. Just don't get caught resting on your laurels.

 Second, your priorities aren't necessarily someone else's priorities. In fact, they almost certainly aren't. If that person is providing the checks your cashing (or the turkey sandwich you're eating and the TV you're watching) it's a good idea to make sure your priorities align with theirs.

These lessons have asked me to do some remarkable things. And even when I've had to start over, I've never had to endure an entry-level salary for even a full year. My personal record is an 50% salary increase within 14 days of my start date, but that is not typical by any means.

However, if you work for the salary you want and make yourself indispensable, you are likely to find yourself advancing post those who are doing “just enough" or even those who are doing what is expected expected of them. Let your ego be tied not to your title or what you make, but to how much people will value your contributions about six months from now when they look back on today and the decision to hire you.